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"The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage"
Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time
Come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for
me
Good, good now we're making some progress
Come on just tap, tap, tap your toes to the beat
And I believe this
may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue?
Swear
to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy
boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives
Applause, applause, no wait wait
Dear studio audience, I've
an announcement to make:
It seems the artists these days are not who you think
So we'll pick back up on that on another
page
And I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator and this
is just the prologue
Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still
so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up, you swear
to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up,
swear to shake it up
Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still
so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes
"London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines"
Stop stalling, make a name for yourself.
Boy you better put that pen to paper and charm your way out.
If
you talk you better walk you better back your shit up
With more than good hooks while you're all under the gun
Start
talking "a sensationalist"
Oh he's slightly clever to just a certain extent
If you talk you better walk you better
keep your mouth shut
With more than good hooks while you're all under the gun
(Panic!: meet the press)
It's time
for us to take a chance
It's time for us to take a chance
(Panic!: meet the press)
It's time for us to take a
chance
It's time for us...
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine,
Make us it, make us hip, make us scene
Or
shrug us off your shoulders
Don't approve a single word that we wrote
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine,
Make us it, make us hip, make us scene
Or shrug us off your shoulders
Don't approve a single word that we wrote
I'm
burning and I'm blacking my lungs
Boy you know it feels good with fire back on your tongue
If you talk you better walk
you better back your shit up
With more than good hooks while you're all under the gun
Start talking "a sensationalist"
Oh he's slightly clever to just a certain extent
Well keep quiet let us sing like the doves
Then decide if it's
done with purpose or lack thereof.
Just for the record,
The weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance
of:
A. Indifference or
B. Disinterest in what the critics say
It's time for us to take a chance
It's time
for us...
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine,
Make us it, make us hip, make us scene
Or shrug us off
your shoulders
Don't approve a single word that we wrote
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine,
Make us
it, make us hip, make us scene
Or shrug us off your shoulders
Don't approve a single word that we wrote
Just
for the record,
The weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of:
A. Indifference or
B. Disinterest
in what the critics say
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine,
Make us it, make us hip, make us scene
Or
shrug us off your shoulders
Don't approve a single word that we wrote
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine,
Make us it, make us hip, make us scene
Or shrug us off your shoulders
Don't approve a single word that we wrote
Just
for the record,
The weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of:
A. Indifference or
B. Disinterest
in what the critics say
"Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks"
Watch your mouth
Oh, oh, oh
Because your speech is slurred enough
That you just might swallow your
tongue
I'm sure you'd want, want to give up the ghost
With just a little more poise than that
Or was it God
who chokes
In these situations, running late?
No, no, he called in
Or was it God who chokes
In these situations,
running late?
No, no, he called in
The hospice is
A relaxing weekend getaway
Where you're a cut above all
the rest
Sick and sad patients
On first name basis with all the top physicians
Prescribed pills
To offset
the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
That's when you stu-stu-stutter
something profound
To the support on the line
And with the way you've been talking
Every word gets you a step
closer to hell
That's when you stu-stu-stutter something profound
To the support on the line
And with the way
you've been talking
Every word gets you a step closer to hell
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To
offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To
offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
I am
Alone in this bed, house, and head
And
she never fixes this
But at least she...
I am
Alone, in this bedroom
She never fixes this
But at least
she...
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day
at a time
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day
at a time
The hospice is
A relaxing weekend getaway
Where you're a cut above all the rest
Sick and sad
patients
On first name basis with all the top physicians
"Camisado"
The
I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
This is the scent of
dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant
And it's
not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm
wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the
fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight
from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
You're a regular decorated emergency
You're a regular decorated emergency
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's
not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic
never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And
it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Can't take the kid from the fight
take
the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight
from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
Sit back, sit back, relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back, bababada
You
can take the kid out of the fight
You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind me
what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion
on the gurney again
You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind me what you did
when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney
again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
Sit back, sit back,
relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back, bababada
You can take the kid out of the fight
The I.V. and your hospital
bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
"Time To Dance"
Well, she's
not bleeding on the ballroom floor
Just for the attention.
Cause that's just ridiculously on.
Well, she sure is
going to get it
Here's the setting
Fashion magazines line the walls now
The walls line the bullet holes
Have
some composure
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
[x2]
Give me envy, give me malice, give me a-a-attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me
a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"
She didn't choose
this role
But she'll play it and make it sincere
So you cry, you cry
(Give me a break)
But they believe it
from the tears
And the teeth right down to the blood
At her feet
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and
wearing Aubergine dreams
(Give me a break)
Have some composure
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no
You're
pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
[x2]
Come on this is screaming "Photo op." op...
Come on
Come on
This is screaming
This is screaming
This is screaming "Photo op."
Boys will be
boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Give me envy, give me malice, give
me a-a-attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun",
"Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and boys will be boys
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams
"Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim
and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was
worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.
I've got more wit, a better
kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it, look past the
sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no, you know it will always just
be me
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you
dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and
hold a lover close?
So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought,
where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up)
Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part
Where
the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all
of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?
Let's get
these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and
hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
Dance
to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's
get these teen hearts beating. Faster
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any
boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging
body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me
Let's get these teen hearts beating.
Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So
testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys
and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
And hold a
lover close
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster
"Intermission"
(Ladies
and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to continue our broadcast of dance music. We shall continue
now with our piano interlude.)
"But It's Better If You Do"
Now
I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret.
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name
As
she sheds her skin on stage
I'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's P.A.
The strip joint veteran sits
two away
Smirking between dignified sips of his dignified peach and lime daiquiri
And isn't this exactly where you'd
like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety
Oh, isn't
this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying
in naivety
But, but I'm afraid that I
Well, I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place
Well,
I'm afraid that I
Well, that's right, well I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place
And
isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and
paying in naivety
Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for
love in a lap dance and paying in naivety
Well, I'm afraid that I
Well, I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be
caught dead in this place
Well, I'm afraid that I
Well, that's right, well I may have faked it
And I wouldn't
be caught dead in this place
And isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying
for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety
Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like
me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety
Praying for love and paying in naivety
Praying
for love and paying in naivety, oh
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help
but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"And
yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever
heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd
chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
with a sense of...
Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this
calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage
is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you
people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise
and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face
these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
Again...
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever
heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd
chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
with a sense of poise and rationality.
Again...
"I Constantly Thank God For Esteban"
Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction
Forgive our sins
Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues
selling faux sermons.
'Cause I am a new wave gospel sharp, and you'll be thy witness
So gentlemen, if you're gonna preach,
for God sakes preach with conviction!
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation,
let's sing it like you mean it
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh,
the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move.
Just stay where I can see you.
Douse the lights!
We sure are in for a show tonight
In
this little number we're graced by two displays of character,
We've got: the gunslinger extraordinaire walking contradictions
And I for one can see no blood from the hearts and the wrists you allegedly slit
And I for one wont stand for this
if this scene were a parish you'd all be condemned.
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come
congregation, let's sing it like you mean it
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.
Strike up the
band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it
No. Don't you get it,
don't you get it? Now don't you, don't you move.
Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights!
We sure are
in for a show tonight
Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights!
We sure are in for a show tonight
Stay
where I can see you
Douse the lights!
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation,
let's sing it like you mean it
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh,
the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it?
Now don't you move.
Don't you move
Don't you move
Strike up the band!
"There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey.
You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet"
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top
hats with the doorman.
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already
and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
Please, leave all overcoats,
canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening
already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
When you're in black
slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
Whoa, everything goes according to plan.
I'm the new cancer, never
looked better, you can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't
you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it
Next is a trip to the, the ladies
room in vain, and
I bet you just can't keep up with, (keep up) with these fashionistas, and
Tonight, tonight you are,
you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh...
Talk to the
mirror, oh, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box
on the table,
they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you
can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't
you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new
cancer?
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never
looked better, and you can't stand it
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing
you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.
And I know,
and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course
you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no
one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.
"Build God, Then We'll Talk"
It's
these substandard motels on the (lalalalala) corner of 4th and Fremont Street.
Appealing only because they are just that
un-appealing
Any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering.
The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe
just a dash of formaldehyde,
And the habit of decomposing right before your very (lalalala) eyes.
Along with the
people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Tonight
tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin
Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie
She's getting a job
at the firm come Monday.
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney
moonlighting aside, she really needs his money.
Oh,
wonderful caricature of intimacy.
Yeah (Yeah)
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that
"virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
as he said to the Mrs. Well, only hours before,
after
he had left, she was fixing her face in a compact.
There was a terrible crash (There was a terrible crash)
Between her
and the badge
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind.
Along with the people inside
What
a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
There are no raindrops on roses
and girls in white dresses.
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets and before
all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things.
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's
sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains
And a few more of
your least favorite things.
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature
of intimacy
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
At
the shade of the sheets and before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things.
Raindrops on roses
and the girls in white dresses
And the sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets
and before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things.
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